This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
