fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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