I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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