Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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