this just has baby written all over it
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
