a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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