I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
