he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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