Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
