I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
