I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize