Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
