is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
