Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
