So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
