Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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