all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize