So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
