At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
