Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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