He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
