If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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