Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
