i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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