I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
