ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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