Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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