It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
