even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
