Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
