I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
