sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
