Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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