So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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