Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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