I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
