He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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