dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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