Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
