your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
