in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
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you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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