at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
