I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
