I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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