I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize