Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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