Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
