you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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