what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize