I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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