Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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