You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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