We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can text with my tongue
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
false alarm, still single
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
