Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
