He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
