I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
