hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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