Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
